Being curious vs. driving a hard bargain

Sometimes we say too much.  I know I do.  But I want to!!!  I feel like it's really important to get our interests out on the table early and up front so people know where we are coming from.  I know that they say that good things come to those who wait (and I'm sure it's mostly true) but in some other cases, I think we shouldn't be waiting around to find out things that we should know early on and up front!!!

Some people might see this as too intense and over-bearing and I agree but sometimes I feel like I have no other choice.  This is about me and business and sometimes nothing more.  Sure, it is about the business relationship and all that and I need to be a likable person but sometimes I really don't care and want to make sure that I am getting a good deal and am not being overly compliant or polite in business negotiations (rolling over)!

Qualification is another key part of interaction, especially in business.  I've been in a lot of different employment situations, some good and some bad, mostly bad.  I'm not saying that employers are evil but in a lot of cases, I think, they're the ones with the power and the control in the situation and I don't think it has to be like this, necessarily.  I think that it is incumbent upon all of us to insist upon what we want.  This may come in some cases at the cost of our jobs or at the irritation of a superior person but I think it is worth it.

The relationship between employer and employee shouldn't be contentious, whatsoever, it should be based upon open dialog and mutual respect.  For me, I think of this tendency of individuals to "drive a hard bargain" can be seen more simply as being curious about the nature of the relationship: as a person in business, I am curious to see what I can get out of other people or my employer, so that I know where we both stand and I know my limits.  If I set limits unto myself too early, I will find myself feeling limited and angry and not fully enjoying what I love to do for the company and customers.

There's a balance, though, between being clear and up front with people and "negotiating" and just saying yes.  I think I used to just say yes when I'd see an offer with a high price tag on it, but now I know that it's the other things--and primarily the relationship and open, reasonable dialog with the employer--that ultimately matters to me.

I know that I have to be careful and tread lightly in my interactions with everyone and ensure that I am demonstrating mutual respect and care.  But I think that life is about learning about ourselves and others and I think people who "put it out there early and often" are the true winners, even when they lose.